Chapter 00

When life’s a mess, blame Mercury retrograde.

But this fresh-faced newbie? He’s pretty sure his Mercury retrograde brewed up for 22 years and then BAM—it all hit him at once today.

Seriously, could the universe be any more savage???

Meet Fang Ying, 22 years old. Started as a singer at 18, switched gears to acting a year later. Currently a rising star. Just landed a second male lead role in a new drama, which is now filming.

Male lead? Xu Qiuluo — Fang’s idol, his forever crush.
Third male lead? Xu Zong — yep, also Fang’s idol.

These two have been best buds for over a decade, constantly batting their eyelashes and whispering sweet nothings on set. They throw so much “relationship sugar” at Fang, his newbie heart melts and—guess what? He’s totally shipping “Luozong” (Luo + Zong) like a pro now too.

At first, working with his idols and getting exclusive behind-the-scenes “sugar” felt like a dream come true. Fang even cooked up a sass-dripping secret Weibo account to follow all the juicy Luozong fandom gossip.

The queen of that circle? A fanfic diva called “Big Cucumber.” Her style? Equal parts wickedly funny and lightly refreshing—like summer lemonade with a hint of mischief.

But Fang Ying? He’s NOT happy about her.
She’s his biggest hater and his number one fan at the same time... the ultimate frenemy.

How’d he find out? Big Cucumber retweeted a Weibo interaction between him and Xu, captioning it sarcastically: “Today Fang White Lotus is hard at work climbing big legs again.”
Fang’s reaction: “WTF! Lady, it’s called WORK! Chill out!!!”

Before he could even finish his indignation speech, Big Cucumber posted again: “So mad at Fang White Lotus I wanna quit writing!”
Fang: “...”

When your fiercest critic is dropping nuclear insults daily, what can a powerless newbie do? He CAN’T even say, “Hey, madam, chill! We Luozong fans don’t gang up on each other!”

So Fang played it cool, pretending not to see when Big Cucumber threw shade his way, and sometimes liked her posts about him just to keep the peace—while secretly sobbing and replying with white-lotus-level sarcasm:
“Fang Ying, pure as snow, climbing Xu Qiuluo’s leg like it’s a ladder to fame!”

Some sacrifices you just gotta make. Fang didn’t even mind the verbal beatdowns. As a die-hard couch potato who followed this ship, after filming and rehearsing scripts, he just chilled reading fanfic TXT files.

But then IT happened.

One day during his break, Fang saw Big Cucumber had finished a new fanfic, promising the TXT download on the forum. Normally, he’s all cautious: curtains shut, lights off, brightness down, wrapped in a blanket fortress. But today? Nope. He dove headfirst into downloading it right after the shoot.

One chapter in and... his brow furrowed. Something was very wrong.

What’s wrong?

The main characters’ names were wrong!

WTF?! The fic’s leads were... Xu Qiuluo AND HIMSELF?!

Fang Ying: (#ﾟ皿ﾟ)

Scrolling mid-way, bam! Steamy scene starring Xu Qiuluo and Fang Ying!

Fang Ying: (ﾉ｀□´)ﾉ⌒┻━┻

What the hell is this? Fang froze on set clutching his phone like it just exploded.

Now, remember, Xu Qiuluo is a super pro actor. Earlier, Fang had messed up takes in their scenes (nerves, what can you do), and Xu was looking to rehearse during breaktime. He walks over, calls Fang a few times, and tries to tap his hand.

Fang? Still stuck in fanfic shock, totally ignoring Xu. When Xu makes a move for his phone, Fang FLIPS, thinking: “My GOD, he’s trying to steal my phone?! No way!”

Xu reads this over-the-top freakout, finally says, “Hey Cat, what are you watching? Porn?”

Fang, blushing: “Just reading...”

Xu: “What kind of reading? Porn fanfic??”

Xu snags the phone, glances at the screen, and his face goes priceless.

Fang: !!!!! Σ(ﾟДﾟ；)
Xu: Σ⊙▃⊙川？？？？

The two just stare at each other, speechless.

Fang stammers a triple denial: “No no no! Brother Luo, don’t say that!”
Xu: “Hey, I didn’t even say anything yet!”

Though shaken, Xu plays the kind senior, pats Fang’s shoulder:
“Don’t worry, I respect all your hobbies. You keep reading—I’ll just step out for a while...”

Fang: “Luo Ge, don’t leave!!! Hear me out!!! My hobbies aren’t like that!! Sob sob sob...”

Fang’s meltdown felt like cosmic payback for being an actor secretly fanfic-ing about his idols’ CP.

Yet something smelled fishy. Big Cucumber—as Fang’s greatest hater—why suddenly write about him and Xu? Conspiracy alert!

Ignoring Xu’s retreat, Fang logged into his secret Weibo account and saw the “Luozong fandom” had erupted.

As the saying goes, what goes around comes around. Big Cucumber had been dragging Fang’s name on Weibo for ages, spinning rumors, sowing drama.

Eventually, her antics pissed off literally thousands of Fang’s die-hard fans, plus fans of both fangirl pairings. One dark night, they finally snapped. Exploded on Sina, rebelling – and within 3 minutes, transformed her month-long CP fanfic into a pirate copy for the rival ship.

This was EVIL-level drama that made death threats seem tame.

Big Cucumber was livid, tweeting a storm:
“I swear I’m zen compared to these White Lotus maggots and Luoying fans! Stealing fanfic like this is the lowest! I’m gonna be disgusted for a MONTH!!!!”
“F*** you!!!”
“Luoying fans, where ya at??? F*** you!!!”
“Say it again: F*** you! Luoying fans, did you hear me?!!!”

Her fury filled the internet. Normally, Fang wasn’t fazed. But this time? He was livid.

He thought, “WTF, fans?! If you wanna write fanfic, be original! Destroying someone else’s work? Totally uncool! And have these jerks thought about how they just hurt their own beloved idols’ ship???”

The more Fang ruminated, the madder he got — especially since this stupid pirate fic put him in the ultimate awkward spot with Xu. He was ready to blow.

On his secret account, Fang fired off a comment on Big Cucumber’s Weibo:
“This is horrible! Pirating rival fans’ fanfic is pure evil! Supporting madam’s right to fight back! Sue immediately!”

He threw in some copyright law knowledge for good measure.

His fiery comment shot to the top, and even Big Cucumber herself replied:
“Too harsh, sister...”

As Fang’s comment blew up, his own fans and Fang-Xu shippers came out to scold him. Fang got it — being slandered sucks big time. But no matter the rage, tampering with Big Cucumber’s story? Nope, gotta keep some standards!

Like a dad trying to save his kids, Fang patiently schooled the little fans one by one, full-on teacher mode.

With his mini fans put in their place, Fang went back to acting.

The next day, he checked Weibo and was floored.

His secret account had exploded to over 10,000 followers thanks to:

Big Cucumber and him mutually following each other;

Fang now famous as a hardcore Fang-Xu shipper, targeted by his own fans and rival ship fans — the “toxic enemy fans.”

Mutual follows meant Fang’s mood was a rollercoaster.

The good? He’d officially “leveled up” emotionally with his fave fic writer.
The bad? Daily triple Weibo rants from her, on a schedule like clockwork.

8 AM: “This little brat shoots cheesy idol dramas but already acts like he owns the world, clinging to our Luo Luo’s leg every day. Fang Ying, have you no shame???”

Fang inside: “No, no, I swear I really like Luo Ge, I’m not just leeching...”

12 PM: “How can this guy sing THAT badly???”

Fang: “That one I can’t argue with. But madam, if I sang well, why would I ditch music for acting???”

7 PM: “What’s up with his face? Didn’t he have a round face debut? Did he get Botox? What’s with those eyes? Did he do eyelid surgery? Nose fillers? Full-on face transplant?! And he claims he’s never had plastic surgery???”

Fang, phone in hand shaking and teary: “Really, no surgery! Madam, PLEASE don’t say face transplant! Just a double eyelid cut for New Year's! When I debuted I was pudgy, now grown up = more manly! Totally normal! Have mercy!”

And so it went. Ten times a day Fang checked Weibo; Big Cucumber threw new insults each time.

Pressure mounted — Fang felt so misunderstood and wronged he could SCREAM.

One sleepless night, staring at the ceiling, Fang finally made a gut-wrenching decision:

To spare Big Cucumber’s feelings and protect his CP fanfic quality, he’d keep a strict, ice-cold distance from his idols.

And he acted fast: no interacting with them on Weibo, no eye contact at events, even on set when Xu offered water, Fang carefully scanned for sneaky cameras before snatching it like a secret agent.

Xu? Totally confused — what’s Fang’s deal? Bipolar? Playing games? Cold shoulder like this? People might think I caught him reading our fanfic or something!

Half a month in, Xu started losing sleep too, staring at the ceiling at 2 AM.

Thing was, their thoughts couldn’t be more different.

That night, Xu lay awake ONLY thinking about Fang’s cute sneaky glances, squeezing next to him at meals, secret photo-snaps, and calling him “Luo Ge” a million times. Xu remembered the first time ‘he laid eyes’ on Fang...

Xu grabbed his phone and binged Googling stuff like:
“How to tell if someone likes you?”
“Most accurate test! Does he really like me?”
“Scorpio & Leo compatibility.”
“Dragon + Rat love horoscope 2018.”
“Who is Fang Ying’s favorite actor?”

Thirty minutes later, Xu cracked a big grin.

His 30-year-old boy heart pounded. “No way... Fang actually likes me SO much he’s playing hard to get!”

Breathing deep, Xu made a big call: “Alright, I’ll swallow my pride and play along with this little fangirl.”

Not long after, their two-lead show geared up for promo, all main cast invited to a variety show.

Knowing the promo was sick with ship vibes, Fang was extra cautious, trying to keep a low profile. Apart from the script, barely any Xu-Fang interaction.

Later in the show, a punishment round: fast Q&A.

Fang lost twice, got grilled by host — all scripted answers.

Host: “If you re-shot ‘Three Kill,’ which role would you want?”
Fang: “Xu Qiuluo.” Added quickly to avoid drama, “Luo Ge’s role is steady and I’ve always liked it.”

Host: “Three guys, different vibes — if you were a female fan, which type do you like?”
Fang: “Xu Zong! He plays my older bro, super gentle, really into character, spoils me on set. If I were a girl, I’d totally fall for that type.”

Sound legit, right?

Fang breathed easy, thinking, “Who can spin that?”

Flash forward one month — the episode airs.

Edited version cuts Fang’s answer to:
Host: “Re-shooting, who’d you want to play?”
Fang (clip): “Xu Zong.”
Host: “Three different personalities — if female fan, which type?”

Suddenly a sneaky cut to Fang blushing hard watching Xu and Xu Zong interact for a whole second.

Then the bombshell:
“I really like Xu Qiuluo. Luo Ge’s that deeply immersed and spoils me on set, haha.”

[TV viewers explode:]

Luozong fans: “F*** you, rotten White Lotus! Get some dignity!”
Luoying fans: “B*TCH this is REAL LOVE!!!!!”
Xu Zong: “Lucky me, I’m spared.”
Editor: “Not my fault! Promo demanded this!”
Promo exec: “Yep, orders from above.”
Higher-up: “Yeah, that was us, what you gonna do?”
Another exec: “Sorry, money talks.”

Fang: “DAMN IT ALL TO HECK!”
Xu Qiuluo: “Tsk... delightful drama.”





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