Chapter 02
For the uninitiated, that’s the uber-popular ship fandom pairing of rising star actors Xu Qiuluo and his longtime buddy and fellow celeb Xu Zong.
Their ship dates back to their early days filming a period drama—a classic that was huge back when the internet wasn’t what it is today. Thanks to retro nostalgia waves on Weibo in the last couple of years, the fandom exploded again, flying high on waves of feels and fangirling.
That’s how the LuoZong fandon became the hottest thing on the internet.
But you know how fandoms are—diverse and dramatic AF.
Where there’s LuoZong, there are bound to be countless other “LuoX” fandom. The scariest of these—the only one that makes LuoZong fans a little nervous—is the LuoYing faction, shipping Xu Qiuluo with the new hotshot star Fang Ying.
Quick recap for the unversed: Actually, Xu Qiuluo and Fang Ying didn’t cross paths much before. This crazy popular LuoYing ship? Major props to the genius video editors who stitched all those juicy clips together. The unexpected rise of this ship made Fang Ying accidentally step on a lot of toes, mostly among young fangirls.
And the biggest boss-level hater in this clashing drama? None other than Big Cucumber, the queen of the LuoZong fanfic universe with 150,000+ fans on Weibo.
After they started mutually following each other, Fang Ying’s little secret account was nearly exposed multiple times. The last time he nearly blew his cover? A bug on Weibo. Big Cucumber even told him to confess, and Fang Ying stayed offline with his secret account for half a month.
Not because he wanted to vanish, but simply because he had no idea how to handle the mad madam’s wrath. The fear of facing her fierce fangirl rages literally kept him locked out of the online world.
Now, the drama they were filming together? A double-lead crime drama called Three Kill. It’s full of action. Early on, Fang Ying seriously hurt his wrist but pushed through filming that day because no one wanted to delay shooting. The next day, his wrist swelled like a balloon. Turns out it was a pretty bad injury, mishandled enough that he ended up with a chronic prone-to-dislocation wrist.
When Three Kill dropped on TV? BOOM! Ratings exploded, and the bosses and investors channeled their inner sharks: “strike while the iron’s hot, grab the cash while it’s warm!” So, Fang Ying and Xu Qiuluo quickly got back together on set.
Xu Qiuluo was loving it.
Fang Ying? Mixed feelings. Happy to be back working with his idol, but bummed there was no Xu Zong this time—losing out on being close enough to soak in those exclusive ship “sweets” (aka romantic moments).
Fang was pretty mopey.
And, you know, mopey Fang is extra sensitive.
He started noticing odd behavior from his idol.
Turns out, Xu Qiuluo was suddenly chatting with him a lot more. If it had been normal chit-chat, fine... but no—Xu Qiuluo was the master of “making conversation out of thin air.”
Like during lunch, Xu suddenly said to Fang: “You seem kinda small for a dude, didn’t expect you to eat two lunchboxes, haha.”
Fang Ying had no clue why that was funny. ZERO clue.
His brain ran wild, assuming maybe Xu Qiuluo was losing it because missing Xu Zong by his side was messing with his head.
During breaks, Fang even sent desperate WeChat messages to Xu Zong: “Zong-ge QAQ come visit the set quick!”
Xu Zong replied fast: “What’s up?”
Before Fang could answer, Xu Zong said: “Okay.”
Fang was like: Σ(▽ )
His idol was SO sweet!
Unfortunately, Xu Zong didn’t make it to visit the set—he got to visit an injured patient instead.
Now here’s the kicker: was this a work injury or what? A bit unclear. People at the crew said that when wrapping up, the staff were packing props and gear. Xu Qiuluo was tugging at Fang’s sleeve, probably trying to say something.
Meanwhile, a staffer walking behind Fang tried to take a detour but tripped over a rope. The giant damn wooden crate they were carrying flew straight toward Fang.
First to see it: Xu Qiuluo. First to react: Xu Qiuluo. While everything was eerily quiet like a hen house at midnight, Xu sprinted, grabbed Fang’s shoulder, flipped him around, and basically used his own back as a human shield. Hero mode activated.
But Fang wasn’t just some fragile flower. Nimble as a prince, he instinctively reached out a hand, and THUD.
Fang Ying screamed:
“AHHH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!?!? I SHOULD’VE NOT BLOCKED IT! IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!! CALL 120!! EMERGENCY!! LUO-GE SAVE ME!!!”
Fang got a perfect “work-related dislocation” diagnosis and scored himself a 10-day break. The director said, “Shoot Xu Qiuluo’s scenes first.”
Fang felt bad for holding back his idol and agonized over how to apologize. But little did he know, Xu Qiuluo felt way worse—he hadn’t saved Fang’s dog-life in time and was haunted by it.
That very day, Xu Qiuluo made the decision: “While Xiao Ying is on sick leave these next few days, I’m moving in to stay with him!”
Fang: ?!?Managers: ?????
Xu: “I mean, Xiao Ying got hurt trying to save me. What if he can’t act anymore? What’ll we do?”
Xu’s manager: ???
Fang quickly said: “Dude, chill. I’m fine, no hospital needed, got house staff to help me…”
Xu snapped: “Shut up! I’m supervising your recovery!”
Fang: Ծ‸Ծ
When your idol’s all serious and pushy, a little guy like Fang Ying can only stay quiet.
He just prayed for fewer pesky gossip reporters and begged silently to the heavens: “Please, Big Cucumber madam, take today off from internet, please no Weibo knives today, I need your fanfic updates—pls!!”
True to his word, Xu Qiuluo showed up every evening at Fang’s house right after work. Cooking skills? Zero. Couldn’t cook a decent stir-fry to save his life. So he basically stalked Fang 24/7, reminding him:
“Get more sleep, stop playing on your phone so much.”
Fang played obedient little starlet, grinning mischievously and mumbling the classic “Yes yes yes, okay, got it.”
Xu was over the moon. Silently smiling, he’d ruffle Fang’s hair before heading out the door.
What he didn’t know: seconds after Xu left, Fang secretly whipped out his phone, logged onto the fan forum, and downloaded Big Cucumber’s latest fanfic.
Big Cucumber had started a new LuoZong story—period drama, soapy and gut-wrenching. Xu Qiuluo was a righteous hero; Xu Zong a cunning villain. Opposites attract, suffering galore! Recently, Big Cucumber seemed super salty and the drama was extra brutal.
In one scene, Xu Zong held a sword to Xu Qiuluo’s throat: “Last chance. Did you ever love me?”
Xu Qiuluo stood on a cliff, bitter smile. Unknown to Xu Zong, he was slowly stepping backward, cornered…
He whispered just enough for Fang to hear: “Goodbye, Ah Zong.”
Fang Ying bawled, tears streaming like Niagara, hiccupping from crying so long. With one injured wrist, only one hand held his phone, tears smeared the blanket. Unable to hold back snot either, he wiped it on the comforter in despair.
Suddenly, the door burst open.
Xu Qiuluo: ⊙ω⊙
Fang: “d(Ő﹏Ő๑)”
Xu: “Why are you crying like this?”
Fang: “Aaaah, why’d you come back… hiccup”
Actors have no fixed work hours. Xu wisely ignored that dumb question and walked over—just as Fang yelled: “No! Please, Lord Xu, show mercy! Hiccup!”
Xu: ?
Fang frantically locked his phone screen, shoved it in his pocket, blew his nose, and cried out:
“Okay! Hic! Luo-ge, hurry up and wipe my snot for me! It’s about to run out! I feel terrible! Hic!”
Xu quickly grabbed tissues and gently pressed one to Fang’s nose. Eyes swollen and pink, Fang sniffled and hiccupped loudly. Xu couldn’t stand watching and tenderly placed tissue over Fang’s eyes too, gentler than east wind caress.
Fang didn’t feel a shred of romantic vibe despite his idol sitting bedside, wiping tears softly.
All he thought about was that last, heartbreaking cliff scene in their drama that just aired on TV today—the final shot for Xu Zong.
He stammered: “Luo-ge, hic… got time tonight? Could you watch TV with me? Hic…”
Looking into those red-rimmed eyes, Xu’s heart squeezed tight. He nodded immediately:
“Okay. But tell me—what made you cry like this?”
Fang was young but fairly talented among his peers. Still, audiences were always harsher on young actors, and being a singer-turned-actor, Fang had a ton of online haters—counting them would make a tour around Hengdian Township fifteen times.
Xu knew public opinion could break an actor’s spirit. Seeing Fang so broken, he guessed it was another vicious rumor fueling the pain, on top of his physical injury.
Xu racked his brain for comforting words.
Fang shuffled nervously, cheeks blazing, finally murmuring: “Reading… novels.”
Xu: “Huh?! What???”
Xu immediately thought of that juicy saucy fanfic he’d glimpsed months ago on Fang’s phone—
“Xu Qiuluo’s hand slid into Fang Ying’s pants, and then things got very saucy...”
Xu stormed out, slamming the door: “Can you please cut back on the smut? Just say directly what you want from me!”
WTF???
What did he mean???
I’m not reading smut anymore! Can I at least enjoy some pure CP fluff?
Fang feeling wronged: Ծ‸Ծ
After Xu left, Fang stubbornly finished Big Cucumber’s incomplete story. This was a cliffhanger! What was she doing??
He then remembered—he hadn’t checked his secret account in half a month! And that last whispered message from Big Cucumber telling him to turn himself in…
Turn himself in!!!
AAAAAAH NOOOO I’M NOT TURNING MYSELF IN!!!
Fang, who fancied himself a memory wizard, had COMPLETELY forgotten this crucial detail.
His wrist injury hit trending on Weibo immediately. The ten-day break was out in the open. Plus, he’d been offline on all accounts simultaneously…
Fang broke out in cold sweat.
Disaster was coming!
If Big Cucumber wasn’t a total donkey, she’d figure out he was Fang Ying—the shameless, lying, white lotus himself.
The “very shameless Fang Ying”!
The more Fang thought, the more panicked he got. He logged into the secret account and saw… 15 unread messages from Big Cucumber!
His heart pounded wildly like a drum.
If she’d ever learn the “sister” who called herself Fang Ying’s foe was actually the obnoxious Fang Ying himself, then he might as well kiss his top-tier stardom goodbye.
He’d be DOOMED in showbiz forever.
His right eyelid twitched uncontrollably. He imagined Zhihu articles like: “How do you feel about hot star Fang Ying masquerading as the rival staff fangirl in the Xu Qiuluo-Xu Zong fandom?”
Top comment with 63,000 likes: “Thanks for asking. Four words: shameless beyond belief.”
Plus eight more threads screaming:
“OMG!!! Did y’all know? Fang White Lotus, the big bad gossip queen of fangirls, is fakin’ it!!!”
“He’s been fooling us all, disguising as a fangirl to stir up trouble!”
“He even messed with Xu Zong’s fandom too!”
“FANG WHITE LOTUS MUST QUIT SHOWBIZ NOW!!!!!!”
Fang shivered: “NOOOO! Quitting is one thing, but losing access to my two idols and those exclusive goodies?? NO WAY!”
Tears streaming, he messaged Xu Qiuluo: “Luo-ge, if I quit showbiz, will you forget me?”
Xu responded instantly: “??”
Then sent a voice message: “What are you saying? What happened? I’m at the supermarket with ‘Auntie’ now, I’ll be back soon, wait for me.”
Followed by another voice, four words: “I won’t forget you.”
Xu’s voice cracked slightly but remained as sweet as ever. Fang listened twice and finally calmed a bit.
Right on cue, Weibo pinged with a new private message from Big Cucumber.
Fang saw the preview—too long to fully read, just a bunch of “aaaaaahhhh’s.”
They say cats have nine lives, but some die instantly from curiosity.
Fang was definitely that kind of cat.
Behind all the “aaaaaahhhh” was: “Luo-that-Zong, it’s day five. Where are you? Why aren’t you online?”
Sometimes, life’s just unpredictable. Big Cucumber really was just a dumb donkey.
She never even dreamed of the “Luo-that-Zong = Fang Ying” combo in her head.
Didn’t even dare think it.
By now, Fang was totally calm. He typed: “I’m online now.”
Big Cucumber replied: “Oh my god!! You didn't actually go in, right?? You’re so dumb. did Fang Ying call the cops?? Wuwuwu…”
Fang quickly deleted his “I’m online” and replied honestly: “.............”
Big Cucumber: “!!!!! You okay??”
Fang: “Yes Σ(▽ )”
Big Cucumber: “How can you be okay??? You broke into Fang Ying’s home! Wuwuwu, you scared me!”
Fang took a deep breath, tried to soothe her: “I’m actually Fang Ying’s bodyguard.”
Big Cucumber: “???”
Big Cucumber: “What???”
Big Cucumber: “What’s your real name?”
Fang replied quickly: “Fang Huai.”
Big Cucumber: “No way! You also have the Fang surname???”
No turning back now, Fang spun a ridiculous tangled web—lies so thick even he wouldn’t script this.
“I kind of got the bodyguard job through family connections,” he said.
He launched into a rambling 1,000-word soap opera about how his dad was Fang Ying’s real uncle.
Big Cucumber, being cautious, asked: “If you’re related, why do you hate Fang Ying so much?”
Here, Fang’s actor instincts kicked into overdrive: “Fang Ying’s older and has bullied me since we were kids, stealing all my food. So I dislike him. I’m his cousin, but he won’t even let me be his assistant—only a lowly bodyguard.”
Big Cucumber got mad: “Bad guy! Such a black-hearted white lotus!”
Fang: “Uh huh (//∇//).”
They say one lie begets a thousand more lies. Fang knew he was morally bankrupt at this point. All for the sake of reading madam’s fanfic.
But what could he give Big Cucumber as a “thank you” gift? His existence alone irritated her enough.
His signed photos, cups, clothes, personal belongings? All things she didn’t care about at all.
Fang was at his wit’s end—then heard Xu Qiuluo return from the supermarket, chatting with the housekeeper outside.
Suddenly, an idea!
He told Big Cucumber: “You know what? This morning I snooped through Fang Ying’s trash and found a LuoZong photo he was actually gonna throw away.”
Big Cucumber went ballistic: “Fang Ying couldn’t break up the ship, now he’s jealous enough to do this? That’s beyond vicious!”
Fang, thinking “damn it”, responded casually: “Yeah…”
Fang shivered: “NOOOO! Quitting is one thing, but losing access to my two idols and those exclusive goodies?? NO WAY!”
Tears streaming, he messaged Xu Qiuluo: “Luo-ge, if I quit showbiz, will you forget me?”
Xu responded instantly: “??”
Then sent a voice message: “What are you saying? What happened? I’m at the supermarket with ‘Auntie’ now, I’ll be back soon, wait for me.”
Followed by another voice, four words: “I won’t forget you.”
Xu’s voice cracked slightly but remained as sweet as ever. Fang listened twice and finally calmed a bit.
Right on cue, Weibo pinged with a new private message from Big Cucumber.
Fang saw the preview—too long to fully read, just a bunch of “aaaaaahhhh’s.”
They say cats have nine lives, but some die instantly from curiosity.
Fang was definitely that kind of cat.
Behind all the “aaaaaahhhh” was: “Luo-that-Zong, it’s day five. Where are you? Why aren’t you online?”
Sometimes, life’s just unpredictable. Big Cucumber really was just a dumb donkey.
She never even dreamed of the “Luo-that-Zong = Fang Ying” combo in her head.
Didn’t even dare think it.
By now, Fang was totally calm. He typed: “I’m online now.”
Big Cucumber replied: “Oh my god!! You didn't actually go in, right?? You’re so dumb. did Fang Ying call the cops?? Wuwuwu…”
Fang quickly deleted his “I’m online” and replied honestly: “.............”
Big Cucumber: “!!!!! You okay??”
Fang: “Yes Σ(▽ )”
Big Cucumber: “How can you be okay??? You broke into Fang Ying’s home! Wuwuwu, you scared me!”
Fang took a deep breath, tried to soothe her: “I’m actually Fang Ying’s bodyguard.”
Big Cucumber: “???”
Big Cucumber: “What???”
Big Cucumber: “What’s your real name?”
Fang replied quickly: “Fang Huai.”
Big Cucumber: “No way! You also have the Fang surname???”
No turning back now, Fang spun a ridiculous tangled web—lies so thick even he wouldn’t script this.
“I kind of got the bodyguard job through family connections,” he said.
He launched into a rambling 1,000-word soap opera about how his dad was Fang Ying’s real uncle.
Big Cucumber, being cautious, asked: “If you’re related, why do you hate Fang Ying so much?”
Here, Fang’s actor instincts kicked into overdrive: “Fang Ying’s older and has bullied me since we were kids, stealing all my food. So I dislike him. I’m his cousin, but he won’t even let me be his assistant—only a lowly bodyguard.”
Big Cucumber got mad: “Bad guy! Such a black-hearted white lotus!”
Fang: “Uh huh (//∇//).”
They say one lie begets a thousand more lies. Fang knew he was morally bankrupt at this point. All for the sake of reading madam’s fanfic.
But what could he give Big Cucumber as a “thank you” gift? His existence alone irritated her enough.
His signed photos, cups, clothes, personal belongings? All things she didn’t care about at all.
Fang was at his wit’s end—then heard Xu Qiuluo return from the supermarket, chatting with the housekeeper outside.
Suddenly, an idea!
He told Big Cucumber: “You know what? This morning I snooped through Fang Ying’s trash and found a LuoZong photo he was actually gonna throw away.”
Big Cucumber went ballistic: “Fang Ying couldn’t break up the ship, now he’s jealous enough to do this? That’s beyond vicious!”
Fang, thinking “damn it”, responded casually: “Yeah…”
Big Cucumber said: “That kind of petty behavior makes me sick. We sisters have to stop Fang Ying! Xiao Huai, did you throw that photo away?”
Fang was stunned by Big Cucumber’s sudden righteous zeal.
He blankly replied: “No.”
Big Cucumber: “Good. I’ll send you an address. Mail it to me. I’ll keep this evidence safe.”
Next chapter
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