Chapter 04

The news that Xu Qiuluo and Fang Ying were teaming up again didn’t just drop quietly—it got hyped up through all the major marketing accounts as sneaky “leaks” the minute the casting was locked.

Sure, both stars had decent traffic, but without photos or solid “receipts,” those early posts barely caused a ripple online.

The real meltdown started when one super-dedicated Xu Qiuluo fan searched his name and stumbled upon that very Weibo post.

Holy hell, she was furious.

She reposted immediately with venom: “Marketing clowns dragging people out like sacrificial lambs again! You don’t even ask Luo himself before parroting this crap? Hopping on any bandwagon to grab attention? Have you even asked Luo? Lame as hell!”

Her influence was no joke. In under two hours, that Weibo post got over 3,000 shares.

Big Cucumber saw it too—her heart skipped a beat, nearly fainted from a mix of dread and fury. Hands trembling, she grudgingly opened the comments and cooled down a notch.

Big Cucumber: “Phew, not official yet.”

Big Cucumber’s wrath wasn’t so easy to quench. She never took things personally but this was an exception. Her next move? A fiery repost in her friend circle:

“Damn it, I’m buddhafied from this damn leg-hugging white lotus! Seriously, It’s like a pig wearing a bra—one trick after another. Now you’re even buying fake articles to ride the hype. If that little dog put half that energy into acting, he’d have snagged an Oscar by now. I’m on my knees, bowing to Fang White Lotus—just one day off for Xu Qiuluo, please? Just one! I vow to be a vegetarian forever if you grant this mercy.”

As usual, she tagged Fang Ying.

Speaking of Fang Ying—at the time, he hadn’t started filming yet. It was a glorious night: lounging on the couch in big shorts, scrolling his secret account, relaxed as hell.

Until he saw that damn marketing Weibo.

He knew tons of people hated on him online, so usually he avoided any Weibo comments mentioning his name.

But on this particular night—some sadistic part of his brain twisted—the guy stubbornly started reading them one by one.

Result? He spent the whole comfy night stuffed with rage, fire burning inside him, itching to rant at those trolls all the way to the fiery depths of the “Fan Mountain, Pine Creek, Fire Cloud Cave.”

Right then, Big Cucumber tagged him.

For the first time ever, Fang Ying didn’t cozy up to her with butt-kissing nonsense.

Nope—he replied seriously: “Madam, don’t send me this. I’m in a bad mood. Seeing all this makes me unhappy.”

Big Cucumber shot back in seconds: “What happened? You’re sad even looking at this stuff???”

I’m f**king sad because I’m reading this crap, damn it!!!

A storm whipped through Fang Ying’s chest. His mouth, though, turned into a quivering weak mess:
“…Okay.”

Big Cucumber flooded him with virtual hugs: “Sis, hugs! I’ll DM you some happier stuff!”

She was fast. Within ten seconds, Fang got two private messages.

Big Cucumber said: “Look at this.”

Fang clicked.

[Ying’s Horseman Fan Bar | Deep Dive!! | “Bathroom Reading Material”
Counting Fang White Lotus’ 21 Dark Secrets in Four Years! + Exclusive 1,423 No-Makeup Pics of Fang Ying! High-Res Mega Download in Comments!]**

Fang: …

Big Cucumber: “How’s that? I laughed my butt off at that Weibo for a whole month!”

Fang texted back: “Not bad, thanks.”

Then quickly added: “Bye now, 886” (internet slang for “bye-bye”)

Fang slammed his phone shut, biting down so hard he almost crushed his pearly whites.

He stormed into his room, grabbed sunglasses and mask, and went out disguised enough to be unrecognizable even to himself.

He was starving.

Craving…

CRAYFISH!!

Buckets upon buckets of spicy crayfish!!

Enough to produce lasting spicy farts!!

When Fang finally headed out, it was already past 10 PM.

He posted on his Moments a private group post—“Recruiting brothers and sisters to meet up at Xiao Xiang Xiang for crayfish.”

Three minutes later, plenty of likes but ZERO actual people showed up.

Hmph.

“I’m going solo! I refuse to believe I can’t finish a whole bucket alone without you guys!”

Just as he huffed and was about to put his phone away, a red 1 popped up in his WeChat pinned list.

Xu Qiuluo:
“I’m nearby, you go in first. Wait for me at the door.”

Fang: “Omg omg omg omg omg Luo-ge!!! Idol!!! Kiss kiss You’re seriously the best person alive!!!”

Xu: “You flatter me.”

Fang: “Deserved, Little Xiang Xiang awaits a kind soul like you.”

Xu smirked into his phone, put on sunglasses, and headed straight to Xiao Xiang Xiang.

Ten minutes later, two masked-and-glassed crazies met at the restaurant’s door.

Fang nodded at Xu; Xu nodded silently back.

They stared each other down for three whole seconds—confirming “Yep, you’re the right crazy” before going inside together.

Fang had picked crayfish—three big platters of braised, fried, boiled crayfish—but he wasn’t the one eating much.

Xu, gloved, peeled shells with surgical precision, while Fang chugged beer like a champ across the table.

After his first bottle, no words from Xu.

Second bottle popped open, Xu asked casually: “What’s up? Bad mood?”

Fang smiled: “Nope, happy. We’re starting filming soon — I get to act with you again. Super excited!”

Alright, fine, no need to ask more.

Xu grabbed the bottle, popped it open for him, and pushed it over: “Drink up.”

Can’t refuse a pro.

Fang felt the buzz creeping in: “My idol’s so close, so caring!”

“Cut the crap. Eat your shrimp.” Xu shoveled shells onto Fang’s plate.

Half an hour later…

Xu asked: “Feeling tipsy?”

Fang, clutching an empty bottle, stared blankly but his eyes were crystal clear.

Xu lifted a hand, ready to open another bottle.

Fang blurted out: “Luo… Luo-ge?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you here, Luo-ge?”

He said: “Isn’t this Hawaii? You came too?”

Hawaii, my ass.

Xu ignored him and asked what he wanted to know: “What’s wrong? Bad mood?”

Same question as before.

This time Fang didn’t smile.

His mouth twitched, then tears streamed down both cheeks.

“Luo-ge, you know what?”

Xu blinked, surprised: “That quick?”

Before he could react, Fang said: “It’s better to raise pigs.”

Xu: “??”

“Being a star’s worse than raising pigs. Nobody gets hated on for raising pigs. I made 140,000 yuan last year just farming pigs wuwuwuwu…”




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